It's Easter.
It feels strangely quiet this year. Last "Easter" was a lovely queer lunch with @JoscelynTransient , a celebration of TDoV; previous Easters generally involved church services. This year, I have no plans to celebrate with anyone, no plans to go to church. I will likely go into the office for grading, maybe stop in at another meeting briefly to drop off a small gift, probably watch a bluray of a particular opera, one appropriate for the day and the times (Dialogues des Carmelites... seriously, if nothing else, look up the "Salve Regina" finale. Chilling.)
The last few months have been a whirlwind. It has felt like fighting the world, as an #academic, as a #trans woman, as a thinking and feeling human being. My body has started to speak up recently that it is necessary to take care of myself as well. That's what I've been trying to do the past couple of days - see to things for home and self.
I have started preparing for the worst, in small ways. Not that it is imminent... but that it is a possibility, something I must consider. It is a heartbreaking moment to look at the library I'd spent decades cultivating, and realizing it is time to start divesting and selling to a used book store. So, I began packing up some of my books. I'm packing largely in order of "Things I can fairly easily live without." Books that were okay, but not great. Books that my previous incarnation liked, but that my current one is not afraid to find issue with.
There are many things that people don't tell you about transitioning, about this next stage of life, about this kind of resurrection. The need to let go of some of the older parts of it, including parts that might surprise you, is one of them.
