Karen is lifting up the mentions of food/baking, community organizing and adding that in a bunch of queer tango local WhatsApp groups there’s birthday wishes, food talk, and “the protest is at 1 o clock.”

She also highlighted the queer tango Discord server.

Ray, about the word queer: “I love that that sour milk has become the most beautiful embrace in our beautiful dance.”

He says, “you don’t need queer tango” is the same as “why don’t we have straight pride?”

“Name 68 countries where it’s illegal to be straight.”

Astrid wants to bring back the online round tables that happened during lockdown.

Mikael says Valencia’s queer tango community is still doing them.

(We are a half hour past the end time.)

Mikael expresses the same feeling I have about dancing in a queer space: embracing someone of the same gender when you’re both queer…that’s its own feeling. It’s not the same feeling same-gender dancing with a bunch of straight people.

Emily says she asks straight people to pay more. Karen called it the Straight Tax.

Karen once heard someone answer “if we’re all equal, why do you need straight tango? Why aren’t you all coming to our events?”

Karen sums it up as “if you try hard enough to assimilate and are capable of passing, you can come to our event.” But in our events we have our own culture.

Ray asks how exactly she responds.

She says: I see it a different way. We have our own particular needs. It’s not just the women’s tango classes. And it’s about owning our own events, owning our own community, not about having us dissolve into the rest of the tango community.

She uses the term “queer washing”.

Astrid notes the economic incentive for straight organizers to welcome and allow same gender dancing (higher attendance), but in her experience they never actually hire teachers or performers who are queer, and they have no awareness.

A professor says “there are open role spaces—“ and Ray says “that’s not the same thing, though. There’s overlap, but—“

She says she agrees, and that’s why her class continues to use the word “queer”.

Astrid says the “gay friendly” organizers who say this have been a sort of taboo subject for a while. They mean well but don’t understand our needs.

Ray wants to return to the topic mentioned yesterday: how to respond to straight organizers who say “well, you’re welcome here, so you don’t need queer tango spaces and are actually the ones being discriminatory by making your own spaces.”

Salem suggests symbiotic relationships with local bars to handle the economic pressures. She says we should be more rooted in our local communities and bring more people into the dance.

She also talked about experiencing ableism here as a cane user.

Andrés says we should work on creating space for conversation in the smaller scale of our local queer tango communities, not just at these big events.

He says tango is not just a dance: it’s a social event. (He has complaints about how at at many mainstream tango events, there are people who only dance and don’t socialize.)

Ray notes that these discussions at queer tango events are important for moving forward our thinking and motivation. That’s why we *don’t* only have the evening dance party.

(We do indeed talk a lot in queer tango events. Here last year was my first one. New York’s marathon had several group discussions too.)